[harrow hardly gets far on monday. she can stay in her room, but eventually even she will find the need to come out to eat. she goes to the restaurant and has breakfast and coffee brought to her. but before she can return to her room, she runs into cloud.
and a memory will play. by the time it ends, harrow has put down her coffee, running her hands down her painted face, smearing the paint.]
[ cloud had been planning the same thing, hilariously enough, just grab some food and go, so running into harrow is unexpected.
and unwanted, just as seeing something so personal to her is. he thinks he gets most of it, from context and things she's said here. a lot still leaves him with a headache, but what doesn't-- but the heartache is new. the loss like it's familiar too, but he can ignore that one. this isn't about him. ]
... Sorry. Tried to give you a wide berth, but... this place doesn't really care. [ about the distance before it forces memories on people. it's very rude. he's hesitant, because harrow is clearly distraught, but-- ] That's the friend you forced yourself to forget. Right?
[well. she sighs heavily, wiping away at her face; it's hard to disguise tears when your face is painted with dark eye makeup. but she nods, not minding the question.]
Yes. Gideon. She died so that I would consume her, and kill Cytherea, and live. But I didn't want to consume her.
[oh. she seems surprised and she flinches when he touches her, but it's the sad flinch of someone who isn't used to being reassured; her lip trembles slightly in response.]
She didn't have much of a choice herself to begin with. [she can't be angry at Gideon for it, either.] I did have a choice, and I chose to refuse the sacrifice she made for me, and I cannot say that was kind.
[but she shakes her head.]
It was part of what I gained in the station, the ability to remove her soul from mine. And hopefully find a way to bring her back.
Don't think there was a kind option in that scenario. You both did what you thought you had to.
[ the entire thing seems to have been incredibly no-win to him. he doesn't say anything about the flinch because i hate their same hatting, looking at her seriously for a second ]
... You'll find a way. [ he seems very sincere about believing that ] You're stubborn enough.
[she seems a little bit touched by that; his sincere insistence she can do it means something coming from him, and harrow can't handle anyone being nice to her without getting very weepy about it, so she's immediately glancing away and trying to blink back tears, furious and embarrassed.]
I am stubborn, that is true. I hope you are right.
[ cloud's wincing himself, a hand to his head like a shadow of a headache before he looks back at her and then away ]
... Sorry. [ they were in or near the restaurant so he's just going to grab a napkin for her nose ] Don't worry about it. Those just... happen sometimes.
... We were out there so late... [ he huffs a little ] We'd just met. She brought me home after I fell through her roof. Her mother ... she asked me privately to leave during the night and not contact Aerith again. Didn't want me to put her in danger. So I did.
[ he shakes his head before, dryly; ]
Got all the way to the end of the sector to find her waiting for me so she could bring me the rest of the way.
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week 3; monday
and a memory will play. by the time it ends, harrow has put down her coffee, running her hands down her painted face, smearing the paint.]
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and unwanted, just as seeing something so personal to her is. he thinks he gets most of it, from context and things she's said here. a lot still leaves him with a headache, but what doesn't-- but the heartache is new. the loss like it's familiar too, but he can ignore that one. this isn't about him. ]
... Sorry. Tried to give you a wide berth, but... this place doesn't really care. [ about the distance before it forces memories on people. it's very rude. he's hesitant, because harrow is clearly distraught, but-- ] That's the friend you forced yourself to forget. Right?
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Yes. Gideon. She died so that I would consume her, and kill Cytherea, and live. But I didn't want to consume her.
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[ he hesitates for what is clearly too long before putting a hand on her shoulder gently, squeezing it once before removing it ]
She still in you now?
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She didn't have much of a choice herself to begin with. [she can't be angry at Gideon for it, either.] I did have a choice, and I chose to refuse the sacrifice she made for me, and I cannot say that was kind.
[but she shakes her head.]
It was part of what I gained in the station, the ability to remove her soul from mine. And hopefully find a way to bring her back.
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[ the entire thing seems to have been incredibly no-win to him. he doesn't say anything about the flinch because i hate their same hatting, looking at her seriously for a second ]
... You'll find a way. [ he seems very sincere about believing that ] You're stubborn enough.
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I am stubborn, that is true. I hope you are right.
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Yeah.
[ and then stardust. there is a lot less violence comparatively, but lucky for harrow the memory includes the headache pain! yay!! ]
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... Sorry. [ they were in or near the restaurant so he's just going to grab a napkin for her nose ] Don't worry about it. Those just... happen sometimes.
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[she wipes the blood away from her face.]
I used to have the same. When I had surgically removed some of my memories.
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[ he frowns at her, a little wary. ]
That's not exactly something I know how to do.
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[she frowns as well, chewing the inside of her cheek.]
...My pressuring you about it won't help, either.
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But if you do ever want to...to talk about it.
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[ he sounds unsure what she is offering, here. ]
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I know what that is like.
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[ he really does seem to be thinking about it, but then he winces and holds his head with a hiss. ow. he thought about it too hard. ]
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...Let's change the subject. Your friend seems nice.
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... Aerith. [ he nods a little ] ... She can be. But she's stubborn, too.
[ he sounds fond. and worried. it is not really a secret that his hostage is named aerith because sometimes you die and letters are doxxing ]
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[it isn't a secret, but it's a little sadder to put a face to a name.]
You are stubborn, so I imagine your friends must be.
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[ he shakes his head before, dryly; ]
Got all the way to the end of the sector to find her waiting for me so she could bring me the rest of the way.
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[it sounds nice. she listens to the story, quiet, just letting him talk.]
I'm sure she will be safe.
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[ there's a sigh, like part of it is him trying to convince himself of it too ]
I promised her I'd come for her before. Not going to break it this time either.
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It's difficult, knowing that we do not live here only for ourselves.
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