2. You open the door and find yourself inside what looks like an abandoned amusement park, where it is perpetually dark and rainy. There are clowns skulking about here, and they don't seem happy to see you. They rush at you, and if you are aggressive with them, they will fight you and try to kill you; if you are not, they will try to force you into a clown outfit. If you are killed by clowns, you will find yourself back in the hallway with healed-over scars from your fatal injury; if you allow yourself to be dressed up, you will find yourself back in the hallway dressed as a clown. Either way, you are soaking wet from the rain. Only four minutes have passed.
they end up in the amusement park, and immediately emet-selch is on edge.]
[ cloud blinks up at the rain, because sometimes you miss weather. that's it. but then emet-selch is immediately balking and that is hard to miss, so he turns to him ]
[ emet. emet are you saying what he thinks you are saying. is this happening to him right now. he's got one hand on his sword reflexively at the skulking shapes, but he won't draw it unless. emet's honking. stops them.
[ i need you to understand during the entire clown to clown communication bit, cloud is standing off to the side with a judgmental look on his face, looking like he wants to die. and then they whip out the clown accessories and sure okay this might as well happen ]
After that display, I'm not entirely sure they aren't right.
[ with that absolutely necessary quip, though, unfortunately cloud is in the mood to get killed by a clown because he is taking his stupid giant sword out and taking a fighting stance like this is a good idea, immediately trying to slash at clowns. this like. obviously does not work. they have wiggly cartoon physics that will haunt him forever. ]
[ his pardon remains unbegged, thanks, emet honked at clowns and now they are making him actually stagger back when they hit his giant sword, which is ridiculous. they are clowns. his sword is so big. this is just like fighting the turks now.
he swings over again and the clown absolutely just does the cartoon "the sides go in so the attack misses moment" ]
They're a little more than troublesome!
[ a clown hits him with a balloon animal and somehow this makes cloud fall back too. IT'S A BALLOON. HE IS IN HELL. ]
[ the sword balloon is, in fact, somehow, made of sword! cloud learns this when he barely dodges only to see it dig into the ground like a sword. why are these clowns so FAST? ]
it is unfortunate that emet slips, because cloud agreed to flee and so was right behind him and they are now both toppled over and splayed out on the ground. and there are clowns holding weapons above them. honking. ]
Hey, wait--!
[ there is no waiting. there is only the slamming of clown weapons upon their bodies. i'm letting you choose your clown death weapon because this has been a very stupid moment ]
[the clown weapons bear down on them-- one aims a watergun down at him, which somehow pierces through as if it were a real bullet. he barely has time to gasp in pain...
before he's suddenly in the hallway again, soaking wet, a hand pressed to his chest.]
[ i am choosing the sword balloon, because something about being decapitated by a balloon is hilarious. anyway, cloud's staggering himself, leaning against the wall and one hand to his throat. there is nothing to see here, he wears a turtleneck. ]
What... the hell...?
[ did they just get KILLED by CLOWNS? is this a game over screen????? ]
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w1, monday
2. You open the door and find yourself inside what looks like an abandoned amusement park, where it is perpetually dark and rainy. There are clowns skulking about here, and they don't seem happy to see you. They rush at you, and if you are aggressive with them, they will fight you and try to kill you; if you are not, they will try to force you into a clown outfit. If you are killed by clowns, you will find yourself back in the hallway with healed-over scars from your fatal injury; if you allow yourself to be dressed up, you will find yourself back in the hallway dressed as a clown. Either way, you are soaking wet from the rain. Only four minutes have passed.
they end up in the amusement park, and immediately emet-selch is on edge.]
-no. No, absolutely not.
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Been through this door before?
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[huffs. he hates this.]
Keep an ear out for... honking.
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...
Honking.
[ he sounds a exasperated and incredulous both. ]
Just what's here, exactly?
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[he says 'clowns' like other people might say 'bugs'.]
They communicate through honking. I was... unfortunately obligated to learn how to communicate with them in turn, in the Prism.
[it's fine he speaks clown
but he also hates this]
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[ in the tone of someone who immediately regrets asking ]
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Unless someone somewhere wants to see some gore.
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...remain vigilant. I may be able to communicate with them should we be unable to avoid them.
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[ emet. emet are you saying what he thinks you are saying. is this happening to him right now. he's got one hand on his sword reflexively at the skulking shapes, but he won't draw it unless. emet's honking. stops them.
this is so stupid ]
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[he says, flatly.
the clowns notice their presence, and begin to rush, the honking growing louder...
and emet-selch holds up a hand as if to halt them, making a few similar honking noises right back in various intonations.
this very briefly gives them pause.
and then this is the point at which they whip out the clown accessories.]
Damn it, they think we are clowns-!
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After that display, I'm not entirely sure they aren't right.
[ with that absolutely necessary quip, though, unfortunately cloud is in the mood to get killed by a clown because he is taking his stupid giant sword out and taking a fighting stance like this is a good idea, immediately trying to slash at clowns. this like. obviously does not work. they have wiggly cartoon physics that will haunt him forever. ]
I thought you said these guys exploded?!
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[you can't just CALL HIM A CLOWN he hates it here. he tried.
anyway, when cloud whips out the sword, so does emet-selch. he is NOT out to get dressed as a clown. absolutely never.]
They are meant to! The ones in the Prism were not quite this-- [one dodges a swing and honks rudely at him.] --troublesome.
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[ his pardon remains unbegged, thanks, emet honked at clowns and now they are making him actually stagger back when they hit his giant sword, which is ridiculous. they are clowns. his sword is so big. this is just like fighting the turks now.
he swings over again and the clown absolutely just does the cartoon "the sides go in so the attack misses moment" ]
They're a little more than troublesome!
[ a clown hits him with a balloon animal and somehow this makes cloud fall back too. IT'S A BALLOON. HE IS IN HELL. ]
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[he's bonked in the head with a balloon animal, wincing like he was struck with something more substantial.
then it waterguns him in the face. they are both in hell.]
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[ one clown is approaching them. it is holding a giant squeaky hammer. it goes squeak squeak when he hits the ground with it.
another clown is wielding a balloon sword. they both honk ominously. ]
Care to translate this one?
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[it's not hard to read!
the one with the squeaky hammer takes a swing at emet, clearly intending to try to knock him over, and forces him to try to roll out of the way.]
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[ the sword balloon is, in fact, somehow, made of sword! cloud learns this when he barely dodges only to see it dig into the ground like a sword. why are these clowns so FAST? ]
We need to get the hell out of here!
[ they will not they will die of clowns ]
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[they super will not, they will die of clowns.
especially because emet-selch turns and starts to flee, and slips on something, to the sound of raucous clown honks in the background.]
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it is unfortunate that emet slips, because cloud agreed to flee and so was right behind him and they are now both toppled over and splayed out on the ground. and there are clowns holding weapons above them. honking. ]
Hey, wait--!
[ there is no waiting. there is only the slamming of clown weapons upon their bodies. i'm letting you choose your clown death weapon because this has been a very stupid moment ]
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[the clown weapons bear down on them-- one aims a watergun down at him, which somehow pierces through as if it were a real bullet. he barely has time to gasp in pain...
before he's suddenly in the hallway again, soaking wet, a hand pressed to his chest.]
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What... the hell...?
[ did they just get KILLED by CLOWNS? is this a game over screen????? ]
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[WHAT HAPPENED TO CLOWNS THAT POP INTO CONFETTI]
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